Warsaw Mommy Blog

Now here’s something that I’ve been thinking about for awhile, usually when I come across articles like this, this, this, this and this.

Let me get something out of the way from the get-go: I totally, fully, completely, 100%, without reservation or qualification, support women breastfeeding babies in public. Let me also say this: I had no idea what a contentious and controversial issue this whole thing is in North America. I did not know this because I had both of my sons in Poland, and here breastfeeding in public is a non-issue. Women do it everywhere: I have seen breastfeeding mothers on benches in shopping malls and parks, in restaurants and cafes and in the cinema, in parked cars, in the back of taxis, at the airport, on trains and public buses and the metro. I myself have breastfed in public more times than I can count, and never ever – not once – did anyone shoot me a look of disgust or shock or rush their children away from me. And teenaged boys? DO NOT REACT. They do not oggle, put-down, whoop, hoot, holler and have orgasms on the spot, nor do they blush and stammer and shuffle their feet as they avert their eyes. Nobody does this. When I had Max or Alex sucking away blissfully on my nipple, nobody even thought twice about the top of my breast being visible – in Poland, the sight excites no reaction and certainly no controversy.

Now, I can say plenty about Polish culture’s traditional attitudes to women and mothers, and much of it gets under my skin. But on the whole breastfeeding issue, I truly think that this country has the right idea. And since it’s such a natural and acceptable part of motherhood here (‘Baby is hungry. Baby must eat. Breast out, now, even though I’m in a cafe’), it does not even cause a ripple when women do it. Frankly, I cannot even imagine someone here raising an eyebrow at a breastfeeding Mom, let alone marching on over and ordering her to (a) take the baby to the washroom (b) cover the kid’s head with a blanket (c) get the hell out of there. It would just never happen.

I can also say plenty about the hypocrisy of North American culture which glorifies nearly-naked women by stretching them out across cars and on beaches, making them gyrate energetically in music videos and publishing ‘beaver shots’ of the It Girl de jour clambering drunkenly out of the back of some limo in LA, yet has serious moral issues with a mother nourishing her hungry baby. I can’t get my head around why this is even a discussion topic: if the problem is the ‘nudity’ thing, then I would have to assume that Appleby’s and McDonald’s have refused to serve any and all women who peruse the menu with their cleavage falling out. I also have to assume that H&M regularly throws out women who decide to shop whilst wearing something practically crotch-revealing. And of course, I also assume that all health clubs send women to work out in the washroom with blankets over their heads when they wear skin-tight Lycra bodysuits which reveal ALL THEIR LADY BITS to the world. I mean, if the problem is the nursing mother’s breast being exposed, then any woman showing up in public scantily- and offensively-clad must be removed, for the sake of the innocent children and impressionable teenaged boys. Right? And if they only do this to women feeding their babies, then why do they?

Here’s what I think: the reason that teenaged boys in Poland do not turn into horndogs at the sight of a woman breastfeeding is because the culture here does not sexualise the act, nor does it make it an ethical or moral issue. Like I said, women do it everywhere and nobody shrieks in horror or calls the cops on her or has her forcibly removed from a public space. In other words the culture accepts, supports and encourages women to breastfeed in public… which effectively removes any disgusting or dirty or sexual connotations from the act. Children are raised seeing this happening in public, and they accept it as natural and see nothing funny or shameful or gross about it. Polish culture has successfully made the distinction between the boobs of near-naked women in magazines and advertisements and the entertainment industry, and the breasts of nursing mothers. They may be the same thing in terms of their physical appearance and location on the body, but when exposed to the public gaze, their function is very different. This gaping difference is acknowledged, recognised and respected. In other words, in Poland, breasts are not boobs.

I think this is fantastic; I love this attitude. I wish that all women who choose to breastfeed their baby in public could be met with the respect and support that I got. It sounds weird, but in Poland a woman can have her breast semi-exposed in public and have a little person sucking away on her nipple, and she will be treated with absolute dignity. Really, it’s a lovely and stress-free experience with no political or social or moral agenda – it’s one that I wish all breastfeeding women could have.